by Steve Dunford

I have struggled whether or not to write this or not.  I am going to get a little personal here.

If there was not Jerry Kill, I am confident that McAndrew Stadium would have succumbed to the wrecking ball.  Not because Saluki Stadium was built, it would have been SIU would have dropped football.

During his nine year tenure, I kept a very close eye on Saluki Football.  I went to at least one game a year.  It was great to see the program at the top of the heap of the Gateway Conference (now the Missouri Valley football conference) as well as being one of the top programs in division 1-AA.  (I still call it that)

He is my hero not because of his rise from Emporia State, to Southern Illinois, then he landed his first D1 job at Northern Illinois then Minnesota, went to the athletic office at Kansas State, and now he is back in the Big 10 as Rutgers offensive coordinator.

As an alumnus, I take pride in the coaches that have advanced in their coaching careers after leaving Southern Illinois.  I root for Purdue in basketball because of Matt Painter.  It is still a sore spot after the Fighting Illini fired Bruce Webber.  I now root for K-State.

I shared his impressive résumé of his coaching career.  The reason why he is my hero?  We both suffer from seizures, only a different type.

He is diagnosed with epilepsy.  For a few years they thought I had it.  My seizures are migraine induced, from the result of a moderate stroke I had back in 2010.

Talking with a lot of men over the years, they tell me there is a time their heart gets softer.  This usually occurs after a mid life crisis, which I believe all men go through at a certain extent.

This could also be from all of the things that I have gone through neurologically, but I tear up at the drop of a hat.  On my walk here other day, I came up on a kitten that was ran over.  It brought tears to my eye immediately.  There was no one around in the houses I came up on.

The day he had his last seizure on the sidelines, I noticed it on the crawl below, as I was working on the website, and when the crowd would get loud, I would stop and watch a few plays.  I am secure in my manhood to admit it made me cry.

His latest seizure is not like anything in the past, and he was calling plays from the sidelines.  Here is a link from New Jersey Online with the story.

http://www.nj.com/rutgersfootball/index.ssf/2017/09/jerry_kill_seizure_at_rutgers_last_week_nothing_li.html

I have only shared this with my pastor Lloyd Whittaker and his wife Karen one Sunday night after church.   At one time they held season tickets for SIU football and basketball.  We got on the subject of when Coach Kill had the first seizure on the sidelines against ISU.  It was a blowout and they left early.  As soon as they got to their vehicle, they heard Mike Reis tell about it and the longtime voice of the Salukis was shook up.

I told them this story that night and I have not shared it with anyone else.

There was one Saturday afternoon, I was feeling very rough and just got out of the hospital.  I was feeling sorry for myself.  I was watching a Minnesota game on the Big 10 Network.  It hit me if Coach Kill can go on you can to.

That was one event in several that had me change my mindset.  I lost a vision for my life.  I thought this is it.  My life is going to consist of the only thing I can be is a couch potato watching TV.

The day my license was pulled I thought life was over.  I have adjusted.  I shared this in another column a few months ago.

Anything you face, the Apostle Paul said his (Jesus) grace is sufficient.  If you do not have a vision for the future, you are living and not existing.

I am going to share a couple of verses that talk about vision

Proverbs 29:18  Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. (KJV)

Have you a vision, do not deter form what the truths are in God’s word.  This is were true happiness comes from, following God’s plan for your life.

When you have a vision write it down,

Habakkuk 2:2  And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.

You know who will be reading that vision, it is you.  I have wrote several down on yellow legal pads at first.

Here are a couple visions that I have.  First, is to have short podcasts that I would put online interviewing local coaches, which is a need around here.  The only coaches that are interviewed in the county on a weekly basis are Ron Winemiller and Bob Pankey.  It would not be a show, it is something that will be posted online 24-7.

The next is one day I plan on writing a book.  When you are limited on what you  accomplish, it robs you of your manhood.  It is something that is impossible to totally understand if you have not been there.

The basis of the book will be encouragement not to give up and don’t let it destroy you.  There is light at the end of the tunnel.

The turn around in my life started that afternoon by seeing Coach Kill on the sidelines.  That is the reason he is one of my heroes in life.