Archives for 2013

‘What was I thinking …?’

That comment went through my mind more than once Monday morning during my 7 a.m appointment with a personal trainer at Stark’s Total Body & Fitness in Benton.

Trying to be a dutiful and serious student I arrived at 6:15 and walked 3.5 miles on the treadmill prior to my appointment. I knew we had worked upper body on Friday so Monday I was going to work my legs.

‘No way he can hurt me working my legs,’ I thought as we started the hour-long routine.

I found out within minutes that my comment was a big miscalculation on my part.

I probably should back up a little and let you know that I started this six-month, three-day-per-week project on May 1 (last Wednesday) and had two sessions under my belt – two sessions I cruised through I should add.

Apparently – I found out the hard way – those were introductory sessions conducted by a nice young man named Stetson Browning. On Monday, some guy named Stetson ‘Pain-Nazi’ Browning was conducting the workout.

As for the question, ‘what was I thinking … ? The simple answer is, ‘obviously, I wasn’t.’

I’m certain that during the hour between 7 and 8 a.m. Stetson walked me through three reps of every possible leg exercise known to man and he even admitted that he made up a new one where he stood and pointed out quite directly if I let the RPMs on a stationary bicycle drop below 75. And it should be noted that this was about midway through the session when my legs were simultaneously burning like fire and feeling like jelly.

“You’ve got to experience the pain to accomplish this … and then you’re going to be alright,” he told me several times during the session.

And each time he would say that the thought that went through my mind was, ‘well … I’ve sure got the freaking pain thing figured out, as far as the accomplishments, well, that remains to be seen.”

But, I am competitive enough and also stubborn enough — and perhaps ‘stupid’ should be added — that I was bound and determined to finish the hour – if it killed me. And a couple times I thought it might.

A couple observations I made on a rainy, pain-filled Monday morning. First, it seems that Stetson is not good at math. You see, he would say we have 20 reps to do and I would start counting to myself and when I had 12 completed he would say, ‘OK, 12 more, 12 more, come on … you can do it.’  So, I learned today that sometimes 12 plus 12 is 20 sometimes.

Secondly, at my very lowest point during the hour I happened to look at Stetson and I could have sworn I saw some small horns protruding from his head. Perhaps it was the lighting or maybe I was hallucinating from the pain, but I could swear I saw it. I will clearly keep my eyes posted for that in future sessions.

As I stumbled (literally) through the final minutes, admittedly I was spent, busted, beat up and worn down when Stetson said we would finish with the one exercise I dread the most. While it might sound easy I urge you to try it. You get down in a prone position like you are going to do a push up and then you put your forearms down on the floor and hold your body weight off the floor for three, 60-second sets. It’s brutal, or at least for me it is.

As a broadcaster I have often mentioned in the final seconds of a close basketball game how long 10 seconds actually is and how much can take place in that time span. The final 10 seconds on the third rep Monday morning seemed to last about 5 minutes.

But, the bottom line is that I finished Session No. 3 and never quit.

“You’ve got to experience the pain to accomplish this … and then you’re going to be alright.”

Those words were in my head as I slowly trudged (and I mean slowly and trudged) to my truck. Maybe so, I thought, but the only thing I feel I accomplished today was Father Time kicking the ever-loving crap out of me.

But, I’m in it for the duration and my next session is Wednesday morning at 6 a.m. – that is if I can get out of bed.