A parent’s guide to surviving the first day of kindergarten

(Editor’s Note: I wrote this column prior to the start of the 2005-06 school year and it deals with the anxiety that goes along with sending a child off to school for the first time. I have not changed any dates or ages in the column. Interestingly, the kindergarten students I wrote about in this column will be entering their junior year of high school this month. I hope you enjoy!)  JM

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During the next few days kindergarteners across the nation — the Class of 2018 — will head off to school for the very first time.

Today’s offering might be considered a survival guide, not for the happy-go-lucky students, but for the nervous, anxiety-ridden parents.

A few years ago I was given the assignment to go to a local grade school and try to capture a story about the first day of school for incoming kindergarten students. So, with camera and notebook in hand I trudged off. Let me describe the scene.

As I walked down the hallway that housed the three kindergarten classes I couldn’t help but notice how almost everybody I passed had a somewhat dazed look in their eyes. Some were walking slowly as if they were unsure about their next step. Others were walking unsteadily, staying close to the outside walls like they were searching for some type of security. Some had a stunned look on their face as if they had just been given some bad news and a few even had tears in their eyes. One or two couldn’t control their emotions and were bawling uncontrollably.

Of course, I should explain that what I just described were the poor parents who were tackling for the first time the 13-year adventure known as the public school system. As far as the first-year students were concerned, they seemed oblivious to their nervous-wracked parents and were doing just fine.

Speaking from experience, many young parents who are sending their first child off to school in the coming days are in for a real life lesson. First, they will learn, perhaps for the first time that their child is not perfect and in fact might not be the smartest, brightest, funniest, most creative, athletic kid in the class. For some parents this will cause great alarm.

I recall 20 years ago when my oldest daughter Lyndsay headed off to kindergarten. She was, in my estimation, brilliant. She could read, she could write, she knew all of her numbers. So, imagine my alarm when on about the second day of school her teacher sent home a note saying that she couldn’t tell time. My first reaction was horror. How could that mean teacher say that about my intelligent, perfect daughter? After reading the note, in my mind her school career was ruined. It was my first recollection that my children are not perfect. Somehow though, we managed to get through the traumatic ordeal and she made it through the next 12 years with flying colors and even learned how to tell time.

Of course, I also quickly realized that there was a reason she couldn’t tell time — every clock in the house was digital and she had no idea what the hands on a clock meant.

Despite the fact that it has been two decades ago I can still remember the worry attached to sending a child off to public school for the first time. How will they react when I’m not around? Will they get along with others? Will they be accepted by the other students? And the list of worrisome questions goes on and on. As much as I hate to admit it, I even drove by the school during those first few days to see if I could get a glimpse of her on the playground. While some people might not understand that mentality, there are many people this very week that will know that feeling well and will be asking themselves those same questions.

And of course there will be memories forged by the Class of 2018 that will last forever.

My wife Lisa still tells the story about the way her son reacted to a teacher’s question when he was in kindergarten. When asked by the teacher what his middle name was, Josh thought for a second and said “oo-wah.” The teacher asked him if he was sure his middle name was “oo-wah.”

“My name is Joshua (Josh-oo-wah) so my middle name must be “oo-wah,” he told her.

Despite the fact that Josh is 24 years old his mother still occasionally refers to him by his kindergarten middle name — ‘oo-wah.’

As a word of encouragement to all the rookies that will be sending kids to school for the first time this year, trust me when I tell you that it will get easier. In fact, in a few years when you become summer activity director/taxi driver/ATM machine for your child you will look forward with excitement to the start of another school year.

I’m certain the Class of 2018 will do just fine as they embark on their educational journey. We’re counting on them; they’re our future. As far as the poor parents, just make sure your perfect child can tell time and also that they know their middle name.

And oh, one more thing; if a kindergarten-induced anxiety attack hits you; it’s perfectly all right to drive by the school once in a while.