From a tragic death … life and hope spring forth

(Editor’s Note:  This column was written about the death of John Boyd of Benton, who died on July 26, 2004.  Today marks the 12th anniversary of his death and this column, I believe, shows that sometimes good and positive results can spring forth from a tragedy.    JM)

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It’s often said that the greatest grief that any person can experience is the death of a child. On a hot and humid day last week I sat face-to-face with that grief.

Loren and Cheryl Boyd agreed to talk with me about the death of their 20-year-old son John, who attempted suicide on July 17 and then spent eight days on life support in a St. Louis hospital before dying on July 26. The pain of the death and the toll of those eight days showed in the Boyd’s faces as we sat in the front yard of their Benton home.

Before I move ahead it’s important that I fill in a few blanks about John. Even a casual news observer has probably heard of Boyd who had his name splashed across Southern Illinois news media outlets when he was accused of entering a storage facility at the Franklin County Jail and stealing 7-8 pounds of marijuana that had been seized by COMIT agents during a drug bust in Hamilton County in September 2002.

After more than 20 months winding through the Franklin County Court system Boyd entered a negotiated guilty plea to a single count of unlawful possession of marijuana. In exchange for the guilty plea one count of burglary and one count of theft – the now infamous Franklin County Jail marijuana burglary and theft — were dismissed.

During my conversation with Loren and Cheryl they didn’t mince words when talking about the troubles that John encountered during his life. They admitted that he once stole a four-wheeler, had spent time in jail and ran with a rough crowd.

However, the Boyd’s don’t believe John stole the marijuana from the Franklin County Jail and neither do most people who followed the case. But, that really doesn’t matter now because that sordid little piece of Franklin County history died when John did.

During an hour-long conversation the Boyd’s were much more focused on talking about the good things he did that went unnoticed.

Cheryl talked about a penchant her son had for donating blood and said he often wanted to give to those less fortunate.

“He was always concerned about people who were disabled or poor,” Cheryl said. “He loved taking the meals at Thanksgiving to people that couldn’t get out and he loved delivering Christmas baskets to the needy.”

She related that John once gave away a $130 pair of tennis shoes to a classmate that was poor and also gave away a leather coat to a high school classmate.

“Those are things that nobody ever knew about John,” she said.

Loren recalled two vacations, one in New Orleans and one in Chicago, where John witnessed panhandlers for the first time.

“You had to carry his money or he would give it all away,” his dad recalled. “If somebody looked like they needed money he’d give them all he had. Even when he was in jail there was an old guy in there that didn’t have any family and John would tell us to put money on his ‘book’ with the jailers so he could buy snacks and soda.”

There will be those who will choose to remember John by recalling a troubled life that quickly spiraled downward after he was accused of stealing marijuana from the county jail. Others might remember him because of a few scrapes with the law or the crowd that he ran with.

However, when I think of him I’m going to think about a story his parents related to me, a story that portrayed a far different person than the one pictured in the media.

Ever since he was a child John was interested in organ donation and as soon as he was old enough, he signed up to be a donor. During the eight long days that Loren and Cheryl spent helplessly watching their son’s life ebb away they were also making plans to see that his desire was fulfilled and that his organs were fully harvested.

Because of John a 50-year-old man woke up in St. Louis today with a new lease on life. In critical condition and with less than a week to live he received John’s liver. Perhaps that nameless, faceless man is enjoying a sunrise this morning or making plans to spend the day with his grandkids or just simply go for a leisurely walk. Two people in Nebraska each received a kidney and dialysis will now no longer be a part of their weekly life. Every major organ, his tissue and even the bones of his arms and legs were harvested and will provide help to scores of people. Despite the troubles in his life, in the end John helped an untold number of people in need.

Before taking his life John wrote a letter addressed to his parents and girlfriend – a letter his parents shared with me. Repeatedly saying he was sorry for the times he messed up in his life there was one particular sentence that yanked at my heart. It read: “I loved you all more than you think or will ever know but my mind was just too much for me to handle.”

There have been many times in my life, and my conversation with the Boyd’s was one of them, when I’ve thought about the afterlife and wondered about people like John that chose to take their own life. There are those who tell us that we must walk a straight and narrow path in order to reap the rewards of the hereafter and that committing suicide is not part of that path. But, on the other hand I think of God as loving and compassionate and always fair.

I’m certain many theologians will disagree but I want to believe that maybe, just maybe, there’s a place of rest set aside for all the ‘Johns’ of the world – all those that have too much on their mind to handle and who struggle and battle but eventually lose to the daily demons they fight.

I hope I’m right.